35 weeks

Saturday night around 1 am I was awoken by the weirdest pain ever.  I felt this popping/ripping/burning feeling at the top of my belly on the left hand side.  In my head, I was envisioning my skin ripping open!  It was so scary.   As I tried to wake up and fill my stomach to see if I had a gaping wound I was yelling for Nicholas to get up.  Once I realized I wasn’t ripped up, the next thing that I thought was a bug bit me.   Nicholas was awake and up at that point.  He was looking over my stomach and the bed to see if there was a bug.   His eyes were trying to adjust to the light but didn’t see anything.  I then tried to stand up and the burning/tearing sensation was so painful.   We had no idea what was going on. 

I tried to look it up on Google and that only freaked us out more.  Nicholas suggested that I should call the doctor’s office.  I did and spoke with the on call doctor.  He didn’t have any real advice to give me and couldn’t figure out what it could be.   His suggestion, to take some Tylenol and see if the pain subsides.   If not I should go to Labor & Delivery.   I followed the orders and the pain did lessen.  I was able to fall back asleep.  The next morning, my whole top left side of my belly was tender and sore to the touch.  I decided to wait until the next day as I had a scheduled appointment with my doctor anyways. 

Yesterday, Nicholas and I went to my appointment and I explained what happened to my doctor.  She knew instantly what is was.  She said more than likely the pressure from Bixby cracked my rib.  Yeah you read that right, my growing little girl broke my rib.  The doctor said your ribs are held together mostly by cartilage so under the pressure it can get pushed out of place.    It made so much sense because the feeling I felt was a popping and burning. 

When Bixby is 15 and we get into a huge fight, I’m going to say “you know you already broke my rib”.  Because that’s what moms do they hold that kind of stuff over their children’s head right?

Baines is 1

Dear Baines,

Today you’re a year old. I can’t believe it! Watching you walk and talk is so weird because I feel like you’re still so little. It seems like just yesterday that I was holding my newborn Bubbies. That was the best day of my life.

We found 4 days before you were born that we needed to delivery you via C-section. I remember thinking all weekend that I would probably go into labor or make myself because I was so nervous for the procedure. The night before your dad and I spend our last remaining moments together alone (it wasn’t as fun as having you there). I thought I would be up all night with butterflies in my stomach but I slept better than I ever have (no offence but you wake me up a lot).

The next morning we woke up ready to meet you. We checking into the hospital at 5:30 am and by 7:00 we were in the surgery room. It took about 15 minutes for them to get you out and when I saw your face my world changed forever.

You were and still are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The sound of your soft sweet cry melted my heart. You were so tiny. I’ve never really held or taken care of a newborn. I was afraid I would break you. Lucky for both of us I didn’t. Motherhood came so natural to me.

I have loved like I never thought I could. You make me a better person, a more patient, compassionate, and loving person. You have brought your dad and me closer together. I love him so much for helping make you.

You are amazing and I hope you always know how loved you are. We are so lucky to have you. I can’t wait to celebrate many more birthdays.

I love your guts,
Mommy

6 Months

Dear Baines,

Today is your 1/2 year birthday. Holy smokes that was fast! You have given us the best 6 months of our lives. Thank you so much for waking up every morning with a smile on your face, for sleeping through (almost) every night, and for making us laugh. We're so lucky to be able to enjoy your crazy personality. Could you do me a favor and start saying Mama because you scream Dada all day long. I'm getting a little jealous.

Within the next few weeks I predict you'll be crawling, that will be super crazy! I'm proud of all your little accomplishments but being mobile will be a big milestone. I'm crying just thinking about it.

You have taught us to love someone other than ourselves. Boy, do we love you... we live and breath for you. We're trying our best to make sure you grow up happy and healthy. We're working so hard to give you a safe loving home. I cant promise that everything will be perfect but I promise we'll try really hard.

Love your guts,

Mommy

8 Weeks

We just got home from Baines' check up with the doctor. We couldn't wait to find out her stats and make sure she's growing properly. She is now 10 lbs and 5 oz. which puts her in 50% for her age. She is also 23 inches long. That is 75% for her age. I was worried that she was gaining too much weight especially in those adorable chubby checks! Everything else looked good, he checked her out and said she is grow just right. He said she had a really sweet disposition. She was acting so sweet while we were there. She was smiling like crazy and having good time. That is until she had to get 4 shots. Poor little thing scream bloody murder. It broke my heart! Being a mom is so hard. I never want anything to happen to this sweet little face.

















Its so strange how being a mother can be so wonderful even with all the stress. Everything seems to be a blur since I had her. The things that I thought really mattered no longer make any sense. I never really wanted to be a mother and honestly never thought I could. I didn't think I was capable of loving someone so unconditionally and I was surprised how naturally it came to me. Just like that I would give up anything for her. She makes every day amazing.

















She makes the funniest faces and I love them all!